Apologies to any regular readers who have noticed my absence from the blogging world recently. Time has literally flown by, and I have only realised now that it has been almost 3 months since my last post. I was extremely busy when I was back out in China, and I honestly didn’t have much to write about. And then I started to question whether I should just stop writing my blog altogether, but after a few people mentioned to me that they missed it, I thought I would start writing again. I have always enjoyed blogging as my own form of therapy, and have said that even if there is only one person that enjoys reading it then it is worthwhile to keep it going. So I’m back again for now 🙂
Sooo a quick summary of the last few months is in order then I guess. I’ll pick up where I left off and start with China. I flew back out after two of my sisters got married over the summer, and I had an end goal in sight of mid-October. It would be a final three months on the Kunming Walking Programme, and would make my adventure out there a year long in total (minus the couple of trips back to the UK). I really struggled being back out there to start with. I couldn’t motivate myself, and I knew that my progress was never going to result in ‘useful’ walking function; that is, I would never be able to walk instead of using the wheelchair. I can, and still do, use walking as a form of exercise as it is a really good weight bearing cardiovascular workout for me. But until science has progressed a bit further with a ‘cure’, I will not be able to make any more progress.
I don’t think this was much of a revelation for me while I was in China, and I definitely didn’t find it affected my motivation, but it has been something that has been on my mind for a while and I can finally say out loud. I used to be ashamed of myself that I couldn’t heal myself, as I hate to settle for anything less that perfect. I am always striving to be the best and am very competitive with myself. I saw being paralysed as a bit of a failure on my part, but I can clearly see now that it is quite difficult to beat science and medicine sometimes. Yes there are miracle stories out there, but mine isn’t one of them, and that isn’t my fault.
Anyway, back to China… I shifted my focus quite dramatically in August, and started to focus a lot more on what I’ve been studying for a while now, and that has been my main motivation since then. After meeting Ali in China when I first went out in 2013, I was very impressed that she is a successful financial trader, and was happy to guide me down a similar route. Trading is something that I have always been interested in, as my dad does it, and I have always been a numbers kind of person. Ali, her father and my whole family have been incredibly supportive of my studies, and I am very excited about what this opportunity may bring me. It feels amazing to be using my brain again and to have a potential career.
So along with wanting to spend more time studying and having a shoulder injury in China, I started doing half days in the gym. I went to the gym in the mornings, but then went home for lunch, and spent the rest of the day and evening studying. This worked out perfectly for me, and allowed me to be much happier about being in China for my last few months. The time went by pretty fast, and suddenly it was time to come home and say goodbye to an incredible year across the other side of the world.
Leaving Kunming was hard, mainly because I met some incredible people out there. There are many things I won’t miss, but I made some amazing friends, and felt extremely cared for by the staff in the gym. My personal physio out there became like a second mum to me when I was on my own, and is by far, one of the most generous and caring people I have ever met in my life. It was so difficult saying goodbye to her, and I really hope that I will see her again some time. I also really miss my three girls, Ali, Jenny and Emma. I never would have made it through the year without them and cannot wait until I see them again.
I left China feeling positive, healthy and for the first time since my accident, excited about the future. I’ve been back home for a few weeks now, and on the whole I feel I have implemented the positive changes that I wanted to in my life. I am currently trying to find a good balance between trading and working out, while still socialising and having fun. I think I’m starting to get there now… but it is much harder being in England where there are so many distractions compared to China. But one thing I definitely notice is that I am much more relaxed about the little things that used to bother me. No one is perfect, and no one has the perfect life. I appreciate small things so much more now than I used to, and I really value spending time with my friends and family having been away from them for a year.
I have a lot to look forward to in the near future…the main thing being…..
…. my sister (on the left), and my personal trainer and very good friend Jo (on the right) have synchronised their pregnancies perfectly. They are due three days apart (right around Christmas Day), and I am SOOOO excited about the new arrivals.
I think I’ve blabbed on enough for now.. don’t want you all to get bored already! I am making a point of going to new places and trying new things, so I will hopefully have lots to write about. Any suggestions for activities or adventures will be much appreciated 🙂